


Dying to Meet You

by ANekoForMe



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Crossover, Dullahan! Ed, Eventual Royed, Faeries - Freeform, Hybrid! Roy, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Updates, Year 3, celtic mythology - Freeform, guarding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6522103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANekoForMe/pseuds/ANekoForMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed, feeling bored with his life, decides to take a risk and accept a plea for help. Never did he think he would have to deal with the beautiful bastard that is Roy Mustang while guarding a kid in secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Test chapter!

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore**  
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

_Dear Mr. Elric,_

_While this is not usually done, we ask of your assistance in guarding a student. We are in a dire situation, and he is the only hope for us to prevail. You would be guarding Harry Potter, if you so choose to accept. We have already received a confirmation from another creature we have asked for help along with relieving extra security from the Ministry, but I beg of you to accept as well._

_If you do choose to accept, we are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will find enclosed all the necessary books and equipment needed for a third year, the year Mr. Potter is in. I'm sure you'll have no trouble being placed ahead._

_The term begins on 1 September. We await your reply to our proposal._

_Yours sincerely,_

**Minerva McGonagall  
Deputy Headmistress**

Well, this was odd. He hadn't had contact with the wizards in such a long time, much less than be asked for help by one. They must be desperate if they sent an owl asking for him to protect a kid, considering his kind brought death. The other creature brought in must not be any better than him though, if they were willing to plea for help from him. The offer sounded interesting though, so he decided to accept.

He placed his head on top of his neck, drastically decreasing the amount of billowing black material that left his neck. One hand was placed where his head and neck met, the other keeping his head upright by holding his hair; he focused on his magic on changing his clothing into resembling a human’s attire more, and creating a special shirt with a collar able to keep his head from falling off while he wasn't holding it. He only did this when he saw the kids, and he wanted to see them off tonight.

He made his way to the human village, silently sneaking into the houses of the human children he had befriended over the years. One was a little boy named Alphonse, who looked quite a bit like him and called him Brother, and the other was a girl named Winry who was a year older than Al and actually made automail for him. He'd been born with deformities, a first for his kind, but luckily had his horse to get around with and it's not like his disabilities affected his work. When little Winry was eleven, she finally realized he was missing an arm and a leg, she worked with her grandmother to make him automail. He was going to miss the two.

“Brother? Why are we out so late?”

“Did you break your automail again?” Asked Winry, bringing out a wrench she always seemed to keep with her. “You stupid faerie.”

He was about to nod no, but remembered what he came for: to say goodbye. These kids were worth the one conversation he was allowed a year.

“No, I didn't break it you stupid automail otaku.” They both gasped at this. Not at the rude remark that was layered with endearment, but for the fact that he had actually spoke.

“Brother?” Said Al, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. They both knew something was going to happen, something important enough for Edward to actually talk to them.

“I'm leaving.”

“Y-you're leaving?” It was Winry who spoke this time, tears now streaming down her face as well.

“Yeah, I am. Some people need my help and I'd be a shitty person if I didn't help when I could. Besides, it's in your best interest for me to leave.”

“B-but Brother-”

“Nothing ever good comes from hanging around my kind. I'm selfish though, so I'll be back someday.”

With that, he used some of his magic to put the two teenagers to sleep. Picking them up, one in each arm, he laid them in their houses. He left a little metal horse with a headless rider for them to remember him by. And with that he left.

He went back outside, and hopped onto horse, forming his carriage so that he could reply.

_Hogwarts Staff,_

_I will accept your plea for help, but next time please give me a quicker notice next time. I do not appreciate being called on three days before I'm supposed to be boarding the train to your magic school._

_You must be rather desperate to want help from someone like me. I most likely will not kill anyone while I'm there, but I cannot make any promises. After all, I don't know whose name I will call until the time comes. I advise keeping a strict curfew with the kids, I don't need to sleep and tend to wander at night. Wouldn't want any of them to go blind in one eye or have a bucket of blood thrown at them._

_I do have a few requests though. One, I will be exempt from the dress code. I have to take special precautions around mortals when it comes to blending in, and I'm sorry to say I don't trust anyone with my head or limbs. Two, I will need something besides a pen and paper to communicate with. We are allowed to speak with mortals only once a year without calling their name, and I believe there is a potion that will allow me to talk. The third and final request being that I need my own space. I don't mind sharing with the other creature, but I'm sure you would prefer students not knowing a faerie of my kind is guarding them._

_I'll be staying at your wizarding pub in England, the Leaky Cauldron I believe, for the time being. While I have some things already covered, I still need a few supplies from the list._

_Sincerely,_   
**Edward Elric**

He took off his head, he had almost forgotten that he was still wearing it, and allowed the billowing inky darkness to finally be free. With a clap of his hand, it covered the letter and disappeared in a flash of blue light.

After sending the letter he made his carriage disappear, hopping onto his horse’s back. Travel was much quicker this way if he actually had a destination in mind, rather than just searching for names.

The supply list from the letter mentioned pets, so when he arrived at the pub (it was in fact called the Leaky Cauldron) at few hours after setting off from Ireland he placed his his head back on and turned his horse into a cat. A rather large cat that would most likely get him unnecessary attention, but he didn't want to give his horse up and both a toad or an owl were unappealing to him. So a large black cat the size of a tiger it was. He made sure no one was watching him first though.

When he walked into the pub, he got a weird look from the owner. He could understand though, it wasn't every day you saw something like this, especially early in the morning.

‘I'll need a room for two nights when I get back,’ he wrote. With that, he walked to the back of the shop to enter Diagon Alley. Luckily it was still pretty early, so no one noticed the odd pair.

“You'll need a name while we're here. I can't just keep calling you horse, or in this case cat. How about… Ouroboros? Yeah, let's do Ouroboros,” he thought to the newly named “cat”.

He walked on past shops, set on going to one place: the wizarding bank, Gringotts. He'd gotten an account when the bank had first opened and figured it'd be best to withdraw from his account now to pay for his rooms and have his money ready for supply shopping tomorrow.

The withdrawal went smoothly and he was able to successfully purchase a room for two nights, even though he wasn't able to speak. That problem was quickly solved though.

“This arrived for you while you were gone.”

Ed nodded in reply and went to his room to open it, Ouroboros following behind him. He set the small package down on the bed, placing his head on a pillow, before going to open it. Inside was a letter, along with three vials of a dark red liquid.

_Dead Mr. Elric,_

_Thank you for cooperating with us on such short notice. I apologize for not being able to send our request sooner, but it is a little hard to track down a myth, even with magic._

_Your requests seem reasonable, so they will be granted. Enclosed is the potion you were talking about. You are instructed to take one vial a day for the time being until you reach Hogwarts, there you shall receive more. We have decided that you will in fact room with the other creature that we have deployed as a student. All staff members have also been informed of our extra security measures this year, so feel free to talk to anyone if you need something._

_We will have a professor teaching at the school this year pick both you and the other creature up on the morning of 1 September to take you to the train. Please be prepared by then._

_Thank you once again. Best of luck and have a good school year._

_Sincerely,_   
**Minerva McGonagall**

He poured the potion down his throat, knowing it would affect his head as well. Than, he began to get to work.

The rest of the day and all of the night was spent crafting his wand. He had to reconstruct his whip for the purpose, considering that no normal wand was powerful enough to contain his abilities and he probably couldn't get away with carrying a human spine. The bone was easy enough to shape and ended up being fourteen inches, it took a few hours though and in the end it still resembled a spine, but only if you knew what an actual spine looked like.

The core was the tricky part though. He couldn’t use a part of himself, but there were no creatures around besides Ouroboros that could channel his magic. So in the end, he had to use his cat. The process was long and painful for both of them, considering that Ed had to pull a heartstring from the spirit bound to him, but Ed got it done as quickly as he could. By the time they finished, Ed needed to go back to Diagon Alley for the rest of supplies.

Half the day was spent shopping, and the other half was spent on practicing wizard’s magic. He hadn't performed it in years and was very out of practice. He didn't want to mess up and perform his regular magic in class. He was real lucky though that he already knew all of what they were teaching.

At around five in the morning, he finally nailed the practicals. He packed all the necessary things into a large black trunk lined with silver...he was sad to admit he was afraid of gold, so it had to be silver. After was done packing, he used some of the wizard magic to keep his head in place better. He put his red cloak on, pulled out a few books he'd bought, and began to read as he waited.

It was around ten when they came. He'd just finished the last of the books he'd brought out and was putting it away when there was a knock on the door.

When he opened it, one of the men gave a shocked gasp, the older dirty looking one. “I didn't know Albus was bringing another werewolf to Hogwarts. He just told me I was picking up two creatures.”

“He's not a werewolf, he's a Dullahan.” The other spoke.

“A Dullahan?”

“Yeah, I'm a faerie,” he snapped back, completely ignoring what the question actually meant. “Got a problem with it Mr. Werewolf? Now siren, please be more careful disclosing my species. No, wait you’re not a full siren, they smell different. Banshee-siren hybrid?”

“You got a sharp nose there little one. Not many people notice the little details.”

“Who the hell are you calling short?!” The blonde exploded.

“You.”

“Fucking bastard!”

The older guy and Ouroboros stepped in, trying to break the two up before they actually started to fight.

“Well, I'm Remus. Nice to meet you two.”

“Roy Mustang,” said the bastard. He was a beautiful bastard, but a bastard nonetheless.

“Edward Elric. My horse- sorry cat- is Ouroboros.”

“Well, due to the fact that Ouroboros is a…rather large cat, I think it'd be best for me to just apparate us to the station. Please grab onto myself and your items.”

Ed hated this form of travel, always made his head feel funny and his body sick. He did so anyways though, making sure to touch both his trunk and Ouroboros while grabbing onto Lupin. After using that dreadful spell, and trying not to throw up, they boarded the train. Luckily the three found an empty compartment relatively easy, so they settled there before anyone else could take it in the remaining time to board. Lupin promptly sat down and fell asleep, leaving the two creatures together.

‘This is going to be a long year,’ thought Ed.

 

  


 


	2. Chapter 2

Ed was tired. No, scratch that. He was abso-fucking-lutely tired. He may have been immortal, and sleep may not be necessary for him to survive, but damn did the light make him tired. It didn't help that he knew it was going to be a long ass day.

Lupin was already asleep, so he might as well take a nap. He quickly sent a thought to Ouroboros, letting the hor-cat know to just go ahead to the school and wait for him. And with that, he let his head fall back and his eyes closed, sending him into a semiconscious state that was his most common form of sleep. He was awake enough to be aware of danger, so he could still partially hear, but he still got the “benefits” of sleep.

It was a rather uncomfortable position, but he'd relaxed in worse circumstances so it was manageable. That was until the bastard decided to help.

“Tha...uncomfortable...le...help…” he felt himself being pulled down, his head now laying on something more comfortable. The bastard had placed him on his lap, hadn't he? Fucker.

His lap was comfortable though. Damn. He might actually fall into a full sleep like this. He was still awake enough though to notice when the door opened and some kids walked in, although that wouldn't be true for much longer.

“This...available...s.” The three kids went on to talk about whatever the hell they were talking about, he didn't really pay much attention. Not that he'd ever admit it, but Ed was more focused on snuggling up to the bastard that had offered him his lap. It'd been forever and a day since he'd last slept, and there would be no point struggling against the natural process already taking place. Besides, he'd need as much sleep as possible, no matter how unnecessary it was, to deal with this favor.

“H...s...cute.” Hell no. They. Did. Not. Just. Call. Him. Cute! He cracked open his eyes, glaring at the girl in the trio. There were many a things that Edward Elric would admit to being, but short and cute were not on that list and anyone who dare oppose this would be sorely mistaken.

He began to feel a slight vibration against him. The stupid bastard was laughing at him.

“Looks like you woke the short stack over here.” Ed smacked Mustang’s leg with his automail hand, snickering at the flinch he felt from the other. Serves him right.

That didn't stop him though from curling back up onto Mustang. He, while it was a scary thought, honestly wouldn't be surprised if he wormed his way completely onto Mustang while he was asleep. The guy was real warm. So, for a heat deprived Dullahan with half his limbs being automail, this was amazing. Ed quickly found himself falling asleep once again in the Bastard’s lap.

~|~|~|~|~

Roy stared down at the sleeping Dullahan in his lap. His mouth was slightly open, and it reminded him of this morning when he first met the faerie.

He had of course had the faint smell of a Dullahan, but it was Ed’s mouth that had actually led to Roy’s observation. While it did not stretch from ear to ear, it was larger than a human’s. Not large enough to notice without prior knowledge, but larger nonetheless. That and his smell were the only things that have him away as a Dullahan. He had rather odd coloring for a creature afraid of gold and he wore his head as well. He didn't carry it around, but actually wore it. Not to mention how heavy he was. Odd.

“So, how long have you two been together?” It was the bushy haired girl that said this.

He pointed between him and Ed, asking if she was talking about the two even though he already knew. She nodded her head in a ‘yes’ motion.

“We're not together, miss. We actually just met today actually.” She seemed a little stumped by that.

He was about to say something else when Ed stirred a little in his lap. No wanting to wake the other, for some reason, he looked down to check if everything was alright. All Ed did was let out a small whine and move closer to Roy.

“Are you sure? You two seem close.” She was starting to get ‘that’ look on her face.

Roy sighed. He was told by the headmaster of this magic school that he was to talk as little as possible, which was going to be difficult if this girl was to prove anything. It wasn't his fault though that his powers resided within his voice and appearance.

“Excuse me miss, but I am rather sure that I only met blondie here today. Now that I've answered once again, could you please stop asking questions? I know less about you then the man in my lap.” Boy did that sound weird coming out from him, but it had to be said.

“Oh, I'm so sorry! I completely forgot introductions,” she said. “I'm Hermione. This is Ron,” she pointed to the redhead, “and this is Harry,” she finished with pointing to the black haired kid with glasses, a lightning shaped scar poking out from the cover of his hair.

So this was their charge? This was the infamous Harry Potter? He didn't look like much. Not to say he didn't have potential, he just didn't strike Roy as some sort of savior. Looks were deceiving though, if the little shit on his lap had anything to say. Roy still didn't know how someone of his size was this heavy. From what he could tell Ed was fairly muscular, but he still shouldn't be this heavy. It was almost as if he was trying to smuggle metal into the school. Metal… He'd have to ask Ed about that when they got to their private dorm.

“Pleased to meet you Ms. Hermione, Ron, and Harry. You can call me Roy for now, and the little-” a pained grunt could be heard from Roy. Something that was most definitely not flesh had just elbowed (or it could have been a knee, he wasn't sure) elbowed his stomach. And from the force put into, he was rather happy Ed hadn't aimed any lower. “Continuing from where we left off, this is Edward.”

Something was mumbled against his chest, and while he could hear it just fine, the others could not.

“What did he say?”

“...Ed. Just call me Ed. ‘Edward’ sounds way too fuckin’ formal.” The other passengers were shocked. For the trio, they were shocked that about the “kid” having an unknown accent and, more importantly, the fact that he had just cursed. Cursed! Roy on the other hand had finally realized that the Dullahan was able to freely talk to their more mortal companions. Another thing he would have to ask after later.

He looked to be no older than they were - if not a little younger. A first year? He looked to be a first year. - so the fact that they had heard him swear was a big deal. Looks like the professors were going to have a fun time with this one.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, ‘m fuckin’ tired. Bastard,” he looked to Roy, “ you’d better stop moving around, that shit’s uncomfortable.”

Roy grumbled out a response about the Dullahan being the uncomfortable one.

He turned back to the three sitting across from them as Ed rearranged himself. “Well, if you'll excuse me. Seems like I won't be able to move for a few hours, so I'm off to sleep as well.”

He in turn pushed himself into a more comfortable position against the wall - well as comfortable you can get while traveling. It didn't seem like he would have any problems, so he too fell asleep.

~|~|~|~|~

Something was going to happen, something bad. Well, at least bad for the mortals.

He shot up, and could quickly feel the bastard doing the same. He got strange looks from the three musketeers across from him, but they wouldn't be laughing in a minute. Why the hell had the headmaster decided it was a fucking good idea to let dementors around children? Having himself and the hybrid were bad enough for obvious reasons, but dementors were out of the fucking question. Hell was more likely to freeze over than dementors having a chance at controlling themselves. Shit.

The train began to slow; the trio’s expressions of curiosity turning from the odd pair in front of them (not including the still sleeping adult) to the windows. More specifically, the ice that was beginning to cover the window making a slight crackle as it went. It wasn't long before the entire compartment began to freeze, the dementors themselves quickly following that.

They seemed to not notice him and the bastard, primarily focused on the more mortal occupants of the cart. The bushy haired girl and the ginger (Ronald and Hermione, he saw through the oh so fucking wonderful eyes that allowed a Dullahan to see a mortal's name. It was real nice when he had to collect a soul or whatever, but a real pain in the ass when he actually wanted to talk to them. He had to strictly stick to nicknames, otherwise he could risk accidentally killing them. He was usually fine, but he never knew when the urge to take a soul would pop up; when that happened, he pretty much killed anyone whose name he spoke.) were knocked around a little, but they weren't seriously harmed. The black haired one, Harry, passed out when the dementors turned on the now awake adult and the two creatures of death.

Lupin raced to help Harry, leaving the two alone with a dementor. The dementor quickly recognizing the creatures it was facing. Ed gave a quick nod of his head, leading the dementor to leave before anyone else could do anything. He quickly shouted out for the rest of the dementors to leave, easily heard by them throughout the train.

He heard Lupin mutter something about chocolate as Ed turned to settle back down against the seat. He in turn began to grumble once again about the stupid headmaster and continued to do so for the rest of the trip to the stupid school.

They, being Roy and Ed, spent the rest of the trip in silence. The only change was when everyone but Ed and Lupin had to go out to put on their uniforms. He got some looks for his outfit from the others, but it's not like he wasn't used to them. He knew his outfit stood out.

They got a shit ton of stares though, when both he and Roy walked out. I mean, who wouldn't be staring at the odd pair walking with the first years. One was “abnormally” tall (Ed swore that everyone was partially descended from giants nowadays, everyone was too fucking tall. Especially the man they were walking towards.) and the other rather short (was he a first year?), not that he'd ever admit it, with bright color(s). Not to mention that there was something off about the two, something that none of the students could place no matter how hard the tried. An odd pair indeed.

It was...interesting when they got to the boats. Ed had tried to snag one to himself (it didn't matter that these boats were driven by magic, he knew he was heavy), but the giant bearded man was having none of that.

“Hey, ‘ou o’er ther’. We got room ‘n this one, s’ why dontcha come ove’ here? We ‘ot plenty o’ room, you're ‘ust small un enough.”

Ed turned to the big man, trying to reel in his anger. “Did. You. Just. Call. Me. Small?” He ground out.

“Well, ye ‘re rath’r shor’ fer a first year. “

“Who the hell are you calling so small that even the algae in the lake could crush him?! And I'm supposed to be a third year, dammit!”

Everyone just stared in shock at Ed. Nobody had expected what had just happened. All they could do was just stare open-mouthed in surprise at the explosive “third year”.

Ed stalked off to Mustang, and boy was he royally pissed. “Fine, if I have to fucking buddy with someone, I'll take the bastard down with me. You happy now?” He squawked out.

Still nobody said anything. Hagrid quickly hurried the rest of the first years into the boats, leaving the older two by themselves. When they set off, nobody noticed that the odd pair’s boat sunk into the water just as much as Hagrid’s did.

And if the first years thought that the boat ride was strange, they were in for a big surprise. All of them were excited about entering the magic castle they saw on the boat ride and were a giddy little group when McGonagall got to them, all except two.

Now the first surprise they got was when Professor McGonagall overlooked Ed’s lack of uniform. The second being the large panther-like cat they saw when they entered the Great Hall (all students and some professors were)...and how it immediately roared to action when they walked in, startling everyone as it pounced on Ed. The next surprise being his response.

As the some of the professors rushed to help the “boy”, he began to laugh with the big cat lying on top of him. “Oh, get off me you big oaf,” he wheezed out, still giggling a little.

The cat began to nuzzle against Ed, making a low rumbling sound that was almost like purring while letting out a few horse-like whinnies. “Yeah, yeah I missed you too Ouroboros,” he said as reached up to hug the cat. “Now let me go, I think you gave everyone a heart attack. I don't want to work anymore than I have to while we're here.”

With that the large cat got up, stretching over Ed. He quickly stepped off his master and picked him up by the hood of his cloak, righting him on his feet. He nuzzled Ed’s shoulder since his head was level with Ed’s shoulder. Nobody noticed how he had to right his head. Ed brought a hand up (the left one) and began to pet his cat.

He had truly missed his the other in the short time they had been separated, but the petting had a second motive. Ed really didn't want to look at the red and _gold_ table and was desperately trying to ignore it. Fuck, he was going to have to see gold every day, wasn't he?

McGonagall began trying to get everything back in order, which wasn't too hard. The Sorting Hat began its song, hinting at the danger for the year along with describing the Houses as it was supposed to.

“ _Pleased to see faces old and new_  
A new year has begun,  
And I am pleased to sort you lucky few.   
Let's see where you belong.

 _“There's nothing you can hide,_  
There's nothing I can't see.   
So try me on,  
And I'll tell you where you ought to be.

 _“The Gryffindors;_  
The bold and brash,  
The charming and chivalrous.   
Just try not to do anything rash!

 _“ Ah, the Hufflepuffs;_  
The patient and true.   
Those who are born truly loyal,  
You might just be one too.

 _“Next the Ravenclaws;_  
Those smart as can be,  
Born from wisdom, and quick of wit  
They're sound of mind, you'll see.

 _“Now the Slytherins;_  
They're full of schemes.   
The House of the cunning,  
For those who follow their dreams.

 _“Now listen here,_  
There is a danger, that is clear.   
All is not as it appears to be,  
But do not let this year be lived in fear.

 _“Time’s running up,_  
My rhyme’s almost done.   
Let's commence the Sorting,  
So you can have your school-long fun!”

McGonagall began to call names, placing the ratty-looking hat upon each kid's head as she called each child from the list. When she finished, the first years were all happily sorted and spending time with their new House. All except for Roy and Ed.

As the whispers began to break out about the two still standing (and the giant cat next to one of them), Dumbledore stood and silenced the whole hall.

“Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. Now, I'd like to say a few words before we all become too befuddled by our excellent feast. First, I'm pleased to welcome Professor R.J. Lupin who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against  
the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck, professor.

“Our Care of Magical Creatures  
teacher has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs. Fortunately, I'm delighted to announce that his place will be taken by none other than our own Rubeus Hagrid,” he paused for the applause thrown at Hagrid.

“Finally, on a more disquieting note at the request of the Ministry of Magic Hogwarts will, until further notice, play host to the dementors of Azkaban and two other guards until such a time as Sirius Black is captured. The dementors will be stationed at every entrance to the grounds, while the guards will be the two new students you see before you. Now whilst I've been assured that their presence will not disrupt our day-to-day activities a word of caution against the dementors.

“Dementors are vicious creatures. They'll not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one who gets in their way. Therefore, I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving.

"As to the guards, I assure you that they are more than capable of assuring your safety, despite the fact that they are to be students themselves. But, like the dementors, these two are dangerous themselves. We at Hogwarts ask that you do not enter the west wing of the seventh floor along with keeping to curfew.

"Before I let these two be sorted and you begin your feast, I leave you with this: happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

With that, he walked back to his seat and sat down, signaling for McGonagall to continue to start.

“Elric, Edward: to be placed in Year Three.” She placed the sorting hat on his head.

_Oh, how interesting. I did not know that of the guards, one is a Dullahan and the other a Banshee/Siren hybrid. Interesting indeed. It'll be a pain to sort you though._

‘Just put me wherever. I don't care.’

_You see, that's the thing. I can't put you wherever. I am to sort the mortals into their proper houses and only that, but you not your friend are mortal. I cannot use the same system to judge your kinds._

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you saying you can't sort me?’

_I'm afraid I cannot. You can however select a house and I can place you there for the time being._

‘Well, the Lion House and Badger House are out then. I'd prefer to stay away from the gold and I'm not interested in making friends.

'The other two don't look much better though; they looked like arrogant assholes, the both of them. Either way, I'll be looked down upon for something. Excluding the fact that the symbol looks cooler, I have a job to do so I'll go with the green table. I should be good there.’

 _Then I shall place you in_ , “SLYTHERIN!”

Clapping could be heard from the green table as Ed walked towards them, while everyone else had a displeased look on their face. Hell, the Lion House was scowling. The headmaster guy looked disappointed, but he could go fuck himself.

Turns out the bastard decided on the green table too. Oh, joy.

Ed didn't give two shits about anyone after that though (not that he had in the first place) since the food came out. Like sleeping, eating was not a necessity, but they could go fuck themselves. He was fucking starving and ain't no one (including his own species) is going to tell him otherwise.

Dinner went well, at least in Ed’s opinion, and soon they were left to find to find their separated room. Well, they probably would have had help, but Ed dragged the bastard and Ouroboros off before before anyone could snag them. Finding their room actually wasn't all that difficult. The headmaster guy had said the west wing of the seventh floor, so that was pretty easy. He got the directions from one of the passing ghosts and they quickly made their way up.

The stairs were a bit of a problem though. Not anything difficult, more annoying than anything else; lucky no one else was there to see what went on. Ed climbed on top of Ouroboros, the weather killing the ports on his automail. Fun. Those trick stairs though, annoying fuckers. Now he would have been fine by himself, but Ouroboros had four legs and was carrying a passenger. Not the easiest to do with those damn trick stairs. So he had to hunt down and cover those stairs with his shadows before they could get his cat.

Don't even get him started of the moving staircases. It was too much of a hassle to change their route from what the ghosts had told them, so he would end up remaking the staircase with his shadows in the direction he needed. Now that was a pain in the ass. It got them to their room easier though.

It was probably roomier than what regular students got. He found his trunk in front of one bed, with a set of vials full with the potion that allowed him to talk resting on top. So that must me his bed, good to know. Both he and Ouroboros flopped on that bed, Ed face down.

“Do you mind telling me why it felt like you were smuggling metal into the school?”

Ed turned over and shimmed his head off. “Ah, that feels better,” he paused to crack his back. “You're actually not that far off. I have automail.”

“You have automail? I thought that type of prosthetic was a dead art.”

“I was born without my left leg and my right arm. For a while I got around just fine thanks to this big oaf,” he pointed at Ouroboros,” but this human girl I met -she's like a sister- decided to help. Her family apparently still knew how to make automail, and it was rather convenient, so I got the surgery. Boy did that shut hurt.”

“Oh, I see.”

Ed left the conversation at that. He pulled out a book, deciding to read before the wanderlust became too great.

It definitely was going to be a long year.

~|~|~|~|~

**Holy shit I finally finished! Fuck yeah! Sorry it took so long. I somehow decided that it would be a great idea to balance school, work, and four fanfics along with my personal life. Smart, right? But schools out for now, so I have one less thing tacked on. Yay!**

 

 

 

 

  


 


	3. Not an update. Picture!

[Here](http://anekoforme.deviantart.com/art/Dullahan-Ed-616488002?ga_submit_new=10%253A1466402012) you can find a drawing I did of Ed and Ouroboros to try and make up for the shitty update. 


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